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Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Memory lane vs derisory

I'm not quite sure where to begin. This past 2 months has been a mess for the both of us. I have had 10 million things running through my mind. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts of you flow, we haven't knew each other for a very long period, you already had me totally and completely to yourself. I didn't even thought of being with anyone else.

As time goes by, all the endless arguments seems to slowly cover up all our promises to this "love". 8th December, you told me once about not wanting me to scold vulgarities if we get into an argument because you don't want to use it on me. Are you laughing at your lie ? Yes, I'm. All your " fuckers", "bitch". Oh ya, one of the most classic one "I feel like throwing my friend's laksa over your face".

What was that quarrel about ? Let me see. Its about me over at bedok reservoir gambling with my friends during chinese new year. Somehow you said you were coming over to my place to pay a visit to my mum since your brother-in-law have the transport. Somehow you heard some boy's voices over the background, then you went bonkers. Then you told me " I don't have the mood to go anymore " . You don't have the mood at all right from the start, you sent me a message regarding if you come up to my place, your family and friends have to wait downstairs. If you're sincere enough, you need not wait until your brother-in-law have the transport, if you're sincere enough, you jolly well should have even took a bus down. Yes, east and west. Come to think of it, singapore how big. Yes, days later you said you were coming. But that mindset goes off after i ask you few questions. lol.

The first time we argued over the cellphone and I apologised. You said " don't say sorry, I don't like my girlf to say sorry. Even if someone is in the wrong, also is i say sorry. " Now I realised, you bomb like a canon rocket.

When I was out with my girls to Bugis, I asked for your permission because your friend, Sam would be there. When I was at the reservoir, me and my girls didn't even knew that JiaJian they all going. You also called Sam and he said he was alone, so you told me he was alone. Somehow Sam called back and said Jiajian they all going with him. But some stupid part of your brains wanted to beat around the bush and put me to a test. You said your message were already hinting me that Jiajian and friends would be there. Let me recall, the message says " becareful, anything call me " I told you nothing would happen. Then you replied " Sam won't, but his friends maybe will " I've got 3 girls with me over that evening, they saw your messages and none of them said your message was least hinting me about them. So you started your nonsense, saying " i don't need such girl like you. there's still many girls out there. Seriously, you're nothing to me now. No matter how pretty girlf i also can ditch. " You made me cried on the spot.

Photos in my phone, right before when I was together with you. It had always been in my cellphone all the long. One fine day, some psychotic attitude of yours told me to delete it. Get some senses into your head, it was in my phone so long ago. And you've seen it few times before. First time you saw it, you didn't said a single thing, second time you saw it, you just scroll away. Then after so many times, you tell me you were unhappy about it. How psychotic can you be ? Then somehow, I got chased out of the house by you. And somehow you came downstairs to pull me back. -.-"

You said you wanted to eat KFC, so I purposely bought KFC from Parkway. Then realised I left something at home, so i rush home to take it. Then started to make my way down to your house. Then you accused me of going to meet other people because I took a very long time to reach your place. I tried to explain how long the queue was, how i left something at home and went back to take it. West side no KFC ? I from east side carry one bag of fucking Kentucky and train down to your place end up I got such fucked up attitude and being accused.

3rd April, a friday. After my evening tuition about 9pm when I was going out to get dinner. You called and ask me to go over to your place. I told you very late already by the time i eat and get ready. Then you send a message saying " nvm " One word replies, which idiot don't know you're angry. So I ask you " you meaning i tonight dont go over tmr i dont need go find you huh? " And you mother fucking replied " Yeah " So, I had a fast dinner fast prepare, then you text to say its ok, nvm. saying don't need come, tmr then come. For one moment you tell me come, for one moment you tell me dont come. I don't understand what the fuck you want. It's like, you happy you call me now come, your PMS over, you tell me nvm. What the hell you treat me as.

10th April, I purposely cancel my tuition cause Channel U is showing " alone " so i wanted to watch it with you. Then you were mad about the argument the day before. You said you were angry, you didn't reply my messages and you fucking hell said you don't love me anymore. I begged you, saying what you want me to do then everything can be back to normal. Still remember your 3 conditions,

1. " I can message girls, you can't message boys "
2. " I can go out with girls, be it group or one to one, you don't kpkb "
3. " I one week meet you one weekends only, sometimes weekends i go out with other people you cannot stop me, cannot interfere, cannot say u want meet me "

Absurd, yet I agreed to all.

Yes, this is all that you gave me during that 4 months 4 days. Don't need scared me say behind your back, it's the truth. I'm revealing all to everybody. You just start contacting me because you feel like it. You thinking making me feel that you're a good person seems fun. Pull me, let go, pull me, let go. Fuck you and your love.

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